I am not destined to suffer I am here to recover I believe that I can receive I love to help and give. There is something in my mind That I cannot change Though I can forever find That I’m here for you, my dear friend. A mistake is not a problem If you are honest and say sorry It is worse by a mile When you pretend and lie without worry.
Contact with nature,
Work with the body.
Flee from your madness.
And try to get studied.
Listen to voices…
Of birds, or your buddies.
Newer reflect of the days,
That have passed.
Live now and here.
Give me five.
As farewell to the party.
Arch of Triumph
“We were eighteen and had begun to love life and the world; and we had to shoot it to pieces. The first bomb, the first explosion, burst in our hearts. We are cut off from activity, from striving, from progress. We believe in such things no longer, we believe in the war.”
Erich maria remarque.
We live inside our inner trobles.
We try to deal with inner fears.
We lie, we speak the truth…
Whatewer…
I’ve seen the Sun today…
I have seen rainy shadows,
I’ve seen the rainbow,
Full of colours…
I am now dealing with my soul,
I do pretend sometimes…
That I am an actor,
Or speaker…
I do it…
Then i suffer…
Because my stage is here.
On this white page.
I write this verse…
It’s bleak and stressfull.
But…
I wan’t it to be less routine.
I’m melanchlolic now.
But someday…
I will be optimistic man.
I am a child.
With some creations.
I am a man of word.
I never promise,
If I cannot resolve,
The given word.
So…
Be safe and truly happy.
Be kind and do no harm.
Be loved and love your body.
Be strong.
And never stay in pain again.
When I refer to some creations,
I do believe in power…
That is obsolete.
I have been seeing for moment.
And have gone back to body,
To repeat…
My journey.
Like friend and relative…
My journey on this planet.
Like brother and my grannies pal.
Stay safe and never be exhausted.
Sometimes we do not give a shit.
But, when the time comes.
You’ll see slim shady,
That may forever…
Change your life.
07/26/2022
I listen to this song,
I feel the rhythm.
I fell the soul…
I see them singing.
I see the pain,
I see the love.
I see the poor,
No money…
But the song,
Is not about money,
It is about love…
Embodied in their choir.
I comprehend the style.
I do adore their smiles.
This music is eternal.
So is their voice.
Nobody can win the culture.
Whatever is the cause,
Pure talent keeps us strong.
And music has no language…
Music has no gender.
Music is made for defending,
From all our broken hearts.
What? Where? When?
Do not play chess with your heart…
I am Crusified by my Saviour.
I am standing tall with my Maker.
I am a rotten big tomato.
I am Crusified with these words.
Though, I won’t cry.
Neither, I will do pretend.
That His love is endless.
Chosse your path with reason.
There are so many pathes around.
Never try to sell tour body.
To those using it as a bag.
Love your granny, sister, brother…
Love your mommy.
Love your Father.
Forevers yours,
Nikki.
We live in a world,
That is full of black shadows,
We speak many lies.
We do make mistakes…
We see the sunshine.
It makes us feel better…
But do not make tries,
To save it for later.
Express yourself, make love,
Do no harm. Accept gifts of God.
And never be sorry.
Just don’t make mistakes.
They will happen freely.
Take love and do love.
Have faith and be prudent.
Pushkin says that nanny is his best friend.
I can say that my Granny is equally brilliant.
Loving her wisdom, strength and enormous spirit.
She is 85. Turned this April.
My love, you are an angel.
Зима. Что делать нам в деревне? Я встречаю Слугу, несущего мне утром чашку чаю, Вопросами: тепло ль? утихла ли метель? Пороша есть иль нет? и можно ли постель Покинуть для седла, иль лучше до обеда Возиться с старыми журналами соседа? Пороша. Мы встаем, и тотчас на коня, И рысью по полю при первом свете дня; Арапники в руках, собаки вслед за нами; Глядим на бледный снег прилежными глазами; Кружимся, рыскаем и поздней уж порой, Двух зайцев протравив, являемся домой. Куда как весело! Вот вечер: вьюга воет; Свеча темно горит; стесняясь, сердце ноет; По капле, медленно глотаю скуки яд. Читать хочу; глаза над буквами скользят, А мысли далеко… Я книгу закрываю; Беру перо, сижу; насильно вырываю У музы дремлющей несвязные слова. Ко звуку звук нейдет… Теряю все права Над рифмой, над моей прислужницею странной: Стих вяло тянется, холодный и туманный. Усталый, с лирою я прекращаю спор, Иду в гостиную; там слышу разговор О близких выборах, о сахарном заводе; Хозяйка хмурится в подобие погоде, Стальными спицами проворно шевеля, Иль про червонного гадает короля. Тоска! Так день за днем идет в уединеньи! Но если под вечер в печальное селенье, Когда за шашками сижу я в уголке, Приедет издали в кибитке иль возке Нежданая семья: старушка, две девицы (Две белокурые, две стройные сестрицы),- Как оживляется глухая сторона! Как жизнь, о боже мой, становится полна! Сначала косвенно-внимательные взоры, Потом слов несколько, потом и разговоры, А там и дружный смех, и песни вечерком, И вальсы резвые, и шопот за столом, И взоры томные, и ветреные речи, На узкой лестнице замедленные встречи; И дева в сумерки выходит на крыльцо: Открыты шея, грудь, и вьюга ей в лицо! Но бури севера не вредны русской розе. Как жарко поцелуй пылает на морозе! Как дева русская свежа в пыли снегов!
Пушкин/Pushkin.
I think the best thing to do right now is to tell yourself that you are here for a reason. Every person is here to defend his peace. War is going in Europe. I cannot speak about it. It is very troubling for my mental health.
Still, I am try to be calm, by the way – medication helps. It is difficult to cope with this crisis in economy, health, budget, family and etc.
I hope that no nuclear weapons will be fired. I think that it won’t go there.
I have this feeling in my bones. I still do not know… Nobody knows. But I believe in our bright future. Is it essential and concrete. I feel all the sorrow. However, I can’t ignore the fact, that our humanity is on the egde of a disaster. Hope, i wont happen, stiil, a chance persists.
Don’t be afraid. God is forgiving and helpful. He never has smht bad on his mind. Good always destroys evil. I know that, because i have seen paradise and hell.
Bless you all, and nave a good sleep.
Yours,
NIkki.
We are made to be a light.
We are here to see the future.
Here we are to bring some now and on…
We belong to God.
We are made to be divine…
We are here to stop the crying…
We are here! We are here forever young.
Soul is not abandoned. Soul is always yours…
We are made to shape the future.
We will never be alone.
Loneliness is good for peaceful trying.
Being peaceful…
Being sad.
War is to be over.
We don’t know of how and when…
But it will be. That’s for sure.
Regards,
Yours sincerely,
Nikki.
19/05/2022.
Я не бегу никогда поперед паровоза.
Но знаю одно. Нет во мне таланта и умений, чтобы врагом другому стать. Как и всегда я желаю мира добра всем нам. Людям и мирянам, солдатам и машинам. Таков итог сегодня.
Таковой и улов.
Я семена посею, чтобы подать за душу для себя. Любите себя и свою жизнь. Аминь.
poetry for self-relief 