Just wondering

We live with different fears 

Sometimes it kills our future

I want to disappear someday

And start from scratch

Begin a journey without knowledge

Once I was full of hope

I have been young and stupid

Now I am like a tree 

That has no leaves

I do have roots and rigid body

But life is not about trees

It is about journey  

That once has started 

And may be full of dignity

Or may be full of shame 

Or both belong the same

To us at our body

I love to hear the nature

I love to be more silent 

I hate to cry

I try to help

Those falling down

And give my friendship

To live in peace 

With my own head and soul

For they are my identity

That I can use

For good or bad.

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Aside

Парафраз, парафраз, парафраз

Невозможно всегда убегать.

Невозможно бросать вновь и вновь.

Невозможно бездумно искать.

И терять на ногах, 

Рвану пятку своих сапогов.

Можно быть бескорыстным и честным,

Можно быть бесконечно и пагубно пресным,

Можно быть очень смелым и неказистым,

Но найти, что тебе дарит смыслы.

Все на свете сказано трижды.

Парафраз, парафраз, парафраз…

Что же ты тогда делаешь с книжкой?

Что из слова ты можешь создать?

Все зависит от граней таланта.

Эрудиции – ёб ее мать…

От усидчивасти и порой фарта.

Но зачем себе мозги ебать?

Можно просто сидеть под оливой.

Тихо, мирно конца ожидать.

Хули нет, ведь так тоже красиво.

Умереть –  нихуя не пытаясь понять.

Мозгоёбка – особая сила,

Ею можно себя отвлекать.

“Игры разума” – ох, как учтиво…

Для себя ее так называть.

Aside

Summer sunshine

Arch of Triumph

“We were eighteen and had begun to love life and the world; and we had to shoot it to pieces. The first bomb, the first explosion, burst in our hearts. We are cut off from activity, from striving, from progress. We believe in such things no longer, we believe in the war.”

Erich maria remarque.

We live inside our inner trobles.

We try to deal with inner fears.

We lie, we speak the truth…

Whatewer…

I’ve seen the Sun today…

I have seen rainy shadows,

I’ve seen the rainbow,

Full of colours…

I am now dealing with my soul,

I do pretend sometimes…

That I am an actor,

Or speaker…

I do it…

Then i suffer…

Because my stage is here.

On this white page.

I write this verse…

It’s bleak and stressfull.

But…

I wan’t it to be less routine.

I’m melanchlolic now.

But someday…

I will be optimistic man.

I am a child.

With some creations.

I am a man of word.

I never promise,

If I cannot resolve,

The given word.

So…

Be safe and truly happy.

Be kind and do no harm.

Be loved and love your body.

Be strong.

And never stay in pain again.

When I refer to some creations,

I do believe in power…

That is obsolete.

I have been seeing for moment.

And have gone back to body,

To repeat…

My journey.

Like friend and relative…

My journey on this planet.

Like brother and my grannies pal.

Stay safe and never be exhausted.

Sometimes we do not give a shit.

But, when the time comes.

You’ll see slim shady,

That may forever…

Change your life.

07/26/2022

Aside

Chan Chan

#BuenaVistaSocialClub #ChanChan #Cuba

I listen to this song,

I feel the rhythm.

I fell the soul…

I see them singing.

I see the pain,

I see the love.

I see the poor,

No money…

But the song,

Is not about money,

It is about love…

Embodied in their choir.

I comprehend the style.

I do adore their smiles.

This music is eternal.

So is their voice.

Nobody can win the culture.

Whatever is the cause,

Pure talent keeps us strong.

And music has no language…

Music has no gender.

Music is made for defending,

From all our broken hearts.

Aside

You are beautiful

It is so yummu…

When sun is in the sky,

It is so lovely…

I am so high…

I am looking at the sea

And see the universe.

I see the hearts,

Of those,

Who left us.

My granddad,

My grannies…

My loving mommy.

Is here with me.

My love is like a fountain,

It sparks.

It does remind me

The champagne.

This love is only thing.

That gives me power…

Some hope is also added.

And faith is there on the line.

Try,

Correct,

Find…

Loose to reunite…

Get up and try…

Loose faith…

To get it fresh.

Without evil.

Nikki.

07/16/2022.

Aside

Что? Где? Когда?

What? Where? When?

Do not play chess with your heart…

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I am Crusified by my Saviour.

I am standing tall with my Maker.

I am a rotten big tomato.

I am Crusified with these words.

Though, I won’t cry.

Neither, I will do pretend.

That His love is endless.

Chosse your path with reason.

There are so many pathes around.

Never try to sell tour body.

To those using it as a bag.

Love your granny, sister, brother…

Love your mommy.

Love your Father.

Forevers yours,

Nikki.

Aside

Do not be rude.

We make a kiss.

We make a slime.

We have good mood.

And we will never cry.

Tois greatThe weather’s fineIt’s nny, rainy all the time.

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”

― oscar wilde

I write these lines,

To cheer me up.

I’ve never tried.

To be so sad.

I an in here, in my homeland.

It is my place.

It’s where I write.

I have true friends,

I have some mates.

I have a family.

That is my space.

I love them all,

Some I adore…

Love having fun.

And don’t be rude.

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

― Oscar Wilde

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

Mistakes.

We live in a world,

That is full of black shadows,

We speak many lies.

We do make mistakes…

We see the sunshine.

It makes us feel better…

But do not make tries,

To save it for later.

Express yourself, make love,

Do no harm. Accept gifts of God.

And never be sorry.

Just don’t make mistakes.

They will happen freely.

Take love and do love.

Have faith and be prudent.

Let us speak…

Pushkin says that nanny is his best friend.

I can say that my Granny is equally brilliant.

Loving her wisdom, strength and enormous spirit.

She is 85. Turned this April.

My love, you are an angel.

2 ноября

Зима. Что делать нам в деревне? Я встречаю Слугу, несущего мне утром чашку чаю, Вопросами: тепло ль? утихла ли метель? Пороша есть иль нет? и можно ли постель Покинуть для седла, иль лучше до обеда Возиться с старыми журналами соседа? Пороша. Мы встаем, и тотчас на коня, И рысью по полю при первом свете дня; Арапники в руках, собаки вслед за нами; Глядим на бледный снег прилежными глазами; Кружимся, рыскаем и поздней уж порой, Двух зайцев протравив, являемся домой. Куда как весело! Вот вечер: вьюга воет; Свеча темно горит; стесняясь, сердце ноет; По капле, медленно глотаю скуки яд. Читать хочу; глаза над буквами скользят, А мысли далеко… Я книгу закрываю; Беру перо, сижу; насильно вырываю У музы дремлющей несвязные слова. Ко звуку звук нейдет… Теряю все права Над рифмой, над моей прислужницею странной: Стих вяло тянется, холодный и туманный. Усталый, с лирою я прекращаю спор, Иду в гостиную; там слышу разговор О близких выборах, о сахарном заводе; Хозяйка хмурится в подобие погоде, Стальными спицами проворно шевеля, Иль про червонного гадает короля. Тоска! Так день за днем идет в уединеньи! Но если под вечер в печальное селенье, Когда за шашками сижу я в уголке, Приедет издали в кибитке иль возке Нежданая семья: старушка, две девицы (Две белокурые, две стройные сестрицы),- Как оживляется глухая сторона! Как жизнь, о боже мой, становится полна! Сначала косвенно-внимательные взоры, Потом слов несколько, потом и разговоры, А там и дружный смех, и песни вечерком, И вальсы резвые, и шопот за столом, И взоры томные, и ветреные речи, На узкой лестнице замедленные встречи; И дева в сумерки выходит на крыльцо: Открыты шея, грудь, и вьюга ей в лицо! Но бури севера не вредны русской розе. Как жарко поцелуй пылает на морозе! Как дева русская свежа в пыли снегов!

Пушкин/Pushkin.

I think the best thing to do right now is to tell yourself that you are here for a reason. Every person is here to defend his peace. War is going in Europe. I cannot speak about it. It is very troubling for my mental health.

Still, I am try to be calm, by the way – medication helps. It is difficult to cope with this crisis in economy, health, budget, family and etc.

I hope that no nuclear weapons will be fired. I think that it won’t go there.

I have this feeling in my bones. I still do not know… Nobody knows. But I believe in our bright future. Is it essential and concrete. I feel all the sorrow. However, I can’t ignore the fact, that our humanity is on the egde of a disaster. Hope, i wont happen, stiil, a chance persists.

Don’t be afraid. God is forgiving and helpful. He never has smht bad on his mind. Good always destroys evil. I know that, because i have seen paradise and hell.

Bless you all, and nave a good sleep.

Yours,

NIkki.