Верение, мой эликсир.
Он держится в эзотерическом сознании,
Прости мой друг, но шатко есть и будет осознание,
Того, что Бог владеет сердцем в нас,
Тебе дерзаю я признание, что жизнь без бога проще, чем без вас,
Вот в чём отличие лобзанья,
По скрижалям молитв, что только злит,
Уже не важно исповеди тайное свиданье,
Ты знаешь, что Господь в тебе убит.
05.11.2005 Мир Тазов.
Сестра дана не голубей считать. По зеркалам стреляя взглядом…
Я словно старой и немытою метлою,
Пытаюсь воскресить в себе права.
Что разум не работает на воле.
Что он нам даден для того…
Чтоб мы нашли свой путь в неволе.
Чтобы свой же ум не продавать с душою.
А видеть краски там,
Где их в помине нет.
Сестре мой пламенный привет.
Из замка на вершине. Никита шлёт свое скучаю.
The question above is quite hard to answer briefly. I have many thoughts, but I still don’t have an answer that is clear and simple. It depends on many aspects. Being disabled means you’re not fully adapted for an independent life, but in many cases you can still work, be sociable, make family, etc. It is also important to mention that illness, whether it is physical or mental, takes a lot of time to adapt. You actually need a lot of time to fight yourself and understand your new way of life. You start to think that you may win the battle with it and illness will just disappear. Or you may start to feel depressed and loose the ground beneath you. I’ve had a long journey with my mental disorder. I write here to address readers, who deal with this kind of pain. I know that many people suffer from stigma. I know, how hard it is to understand, that your life will never be as easy as it has been before you’ve changed for good. I am trying to find something positive in things that surround me daily or briefly. I write this now and I am happy that I can concentrate for long enough to finish my thoughts and stay in one piece. English isn’t my mother tongue, but I love writing and I love English. That is why I do it. I really believe that at some point people will find a solution to make a breakthrough in medication. To some extent it has already happened. Imagine, how hard it was back then, when there was no treatment for patients at all. Now I can drink medication and live a life with certain restrictions, but it does help. I remember years at the “beginning” when I refused to drink my drugs. So I didn’t drink them at all for a year. It is common among new patients. But after this mistake I clearly understood that medication really can help. I can control my ups and downs more easily with my doctor. And I can live happily and enjoy my life. Thanks for reading.
poetry for self-relief 